The Abyss is the first of my three-part series. It took me some time to start and then complete. First, I had to mentally prepare for it. Then capturing the emotion of this piece could feel so draining. But I wanted to get it right.
The girl is crouched and backed in a corner, surrounded by abusive words. And while she cowers, you'll notice her posture is slightly loose as if in resignation because this is not the first time or the last time she will face this violence. The abyss pools beneath her, reaching up and threatening to pull her down. Her hair tie belies her youth and innocence as a hand reaches, ominously through broken shards. The fingers are female but the nails are dark and talon-like.
I chose to incorporate selfish, crazy, stupid, worthless, lazy and hard to love. These are words of abusers that were either stated or implied in an effort to control me. I heard and felt them often, especially "selfish", on the rare occasion I did something for myself.
I used art to capture this moment because art is my voice. The feeling of hopelessness, oppression, and the constant threat of violence that dominated my childhood is so hard to convey with words. But I can show you what it felt like.